Warning! There be TMI ahead!!!!

Just in case you didn't read the title of this post, there is TMI in this post.  Mostly for those who get grossed out by thinking about menstruation.  I'm writing this post because I know that many women have had the same, or similar issues as mine before, and I'm hoping for feedback.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!  The TMI starts a few paragraphs down.

Okay.  Now that the disclaimer's out of the way, I can get to actually writing in my blog!  I'm not working today, and I don't think I'm going to make the 40 minute drive to Warrenton just to go to the gym.  I'm working up enough of a sweat doing chores around the house.  I might go later to the little fitness center we have here at our apartment complex.  I'm pretty sure they've got an elliptical, a treadmill, and some type of weight machine.

The feedback I've been getting from everyone is great, and SO VERY ENCOURAGING.  Thank you!!  Recommend my blog to others!  I'm an attention-whore.  :-)  No, it's more like my weight-loss odyssey is like "It Takes a Village To Raise A Child".  The more people I know who are out there to hold me accountable for my actions (or inaction, as the case might be sometimes), the more likely I am to stick with this!  A few people have made suggestions/asked questions.  Here's the responses to said comments:

I am using WebMD.com's food and fitness tracker.  I've been using it for a while now, and I like the way it's set up.  That isn't to say that I won't take the time to check out the other sites people have suggested!  I just wanted to let you guys know that I am in fact keeping track of stuff elsewhere besides here.

I am seeing my primary care physician next week to discuss my weight loss goals and any precautions I should take.  I had to get blood work done recently to get medical benefits with BB&T, so I will be taking the results to the appointment.  I'm not pre-diabetic, my overall cholesterol's pretty darn good, and the only thing that could be better is lower triglycerides and higher Good cholesterol.  Oh, and that whole losing weight thing....

Along those lines, here comes the TMI part of this post.  WARNING!

I have always had moderate to heavy periods.  They rarely last more than 6 days, however.  I have been on and off the birth control pill over the years.  Most recently, I have been off of it, because I had a pregnancy scare back in August and went off of EVERYTHING I was taking, including my antidepressants, mood stabilizers, and the Pill.  I'll address the meds in my next entry, promise.  So, for the past few months, my period has been rather regular.  Happens around the same time each month, for about 5-6 days.   Not too heavy, either.

Then, around November 4th, I started having what looked like old blood start spotting.  I thought it was weird, but I've had it happen before, followed by a heavier-than-usual period.  So, I braced myself for that.

I'M STILL GETTING MY PERIOD, AND IT'S THE 29th OF NOVEMBER.  Oh, and I had to go out and actually buy MORE SuperPlus tampons.  It's that heavy.  The last time this happened, I was 14, thought I was going to bleed to death, and went on the Pill to regulate my hormones.

Here comes the medical jargon.  I've got a family friend who's a very good endocrinologist.  He went to college with my dad, and has known me since I was in diapers, basically.  He and my mom struck up a conversation about my health history (odd, but that's my mom for you, gotta love her).  His professional opinion, just by knowing me and not having ever closely physically examining me, is that I have polycystic ovarian syndrome, or PCOS.

PCOS causes anovulation (not releasing an egg each month), leads to fluid-filled cysts in the ovaries, and basically wreaks havoc on your hormones.  Some symptoms of PCOS are obesity, weight gain around the waist, male-pattern hair growth, and irregular periods.  I listed those symptoms because those are some of the symptoms I have.  Needless to say, I'm getting kinda concerned about my period lasting FOR FOREVER, and am trying to get an appointment to see the female doctor at my PCP's practice for sometime this week.  Looks like Thursday afternoon will be my best bet.  I'll keep you guys posted!

Day 1

I slept like absolute crap last night.  I was so excited about this life-changing I'm starting, I think my body just couldn't calm down enough to get a good night's sleep.  Finally tried falling asleep around 1 am, and I woke up for good at 5 am, after tossing and turning like nobody's business.  What did I do with my free time this morning, you ask?

I joined a gym!  I joined the Warrenton Aquatic and Recreation Facility.  It's literally 5 minutes from where I work.  Very convenient for pre- and post- work workouts!

I was kinda disappointed in how little I was able to actually exercise, when it came down to brass tacks, however.  I lasted about 20 minutes on the elliptical machine, and then swam for 7 laps before getting shaky and realizing that I have to take some teeny tiny baby steps so I don't burn myself out.  I did a pretty good job with food today.  I'm currently cooking dinner for myself and my husband, who's being super supportive of my desire to eat better and take better care of myself.  Here's what I had today:

Around 5:15 this morning, I needed some sustenance to get my metabolism jumpstarted.  I had a Slimfast Shake. 170 calories.

After I worked out, I needed some more sustenance.  I had half of a Clif bar.  I ate the second half after I got off of work at 2 this afternoon.  236 calories.   Yikes!

I had time to kill before work, and by 10 am, I was hungry.  I went to Panera and chose some of the healthiest breakfast stuff they had, and tried to keep it balanced by also getting something with a little bit of fruit: A Power Breakfast Sandwich and a Strawberry Granola Parfait: total 650 calories.

And now, after going on a major produce shopping trip, I'm cooking pork chops with cream of mushroom soup (I should have gotten the low-fat kind, but I wasn't thinking when I saw the cans on sale for some ridiculous post-Thanksgiving price).  Our side dishes are long grain wild rice and roasted yellow squash and zucchini.  Total 503 calories.

Barring any late night snackage, that brings me to around 1559 calories.  I have no idea how many I burned today, but I think if I stick on this path, I should be doing well.

A warning for the squeamish... and any males reading my blog:  My next entry will be of the TMI variety.  I'll be sure to put a warning at the top of it, but I wanted to give you a heads up!

Starting Fresh

It took very little time for me to think of what to name this blog.  It will be my record of my weight loss.  I've experienced loss of many types in my life, and I've had to grieve for all of them.  However, I will never grieve for the loss of some pounds.  Hence: "A Loss For Which I'll Never Grieve".

I'm 26 years old, stand about 5'7" tall, and, last time I checked (which was about 2 minutes ago), I weigh 275 pounds.

Holy shit.

I've struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember, which stretches back to being in grade school and being teased for being fat.  2nd graders can be so cruel.  It only got worse as I got older.  I don't remember when I hit 200 lbs.  It was probably sometime Senior year of high school.  I DO remember when I hit 250 for the first time.  That was Senior year of college.  My cousin, Brandon, had died in an accident, and I turned to food for some good TLC.  TLC being Tons of Lingering Calories.

I used to teach Latin to middle schoolers at a private school.  That job and the stress that I put on myself because of it landed me in the hospital for suicidal ideations.  I quit the day after I got out of the hospital.  Combine clinically diagnosed Major Depression with being unemployed for a few months, and TLC made a reappearance, and I grew to the weight I am now.

I eat too much, exercise hardly ever, and hate the way my body looks.  Those three things need to change.  This blog is where I'll document both my caloric intake and output, and my emotions during what is sure to be a rough, but rewarding journey.  There might be posts with a little TMI, but I'll be sure to put major warnings at the beginning of any posts that might gross people out.  But hey, this is my blog, and I get to write what I want, write?  Haha.  Right.

Tomorrow, I'm starting a diet, and joining the gym near where I work.  Wish me persistence and patience!!!!