New Years

I can hardly believe that an entire year has come and gone.  Sooooo much has happened this year, it seems to have passed by in the blink of an eye.  I've got some goals for the new year, which mostly involve keeping up the good work I've been doing so far.
Goal #1 - KEEP LOSING WEIGHT!  By: continuing to eat less, and eat more healthy food when I do eat, and by working out regularly.  I am so thankful for my trainer, Kristin, she's given me such good ideas and has given me a workout regimen that I can stick with!
Goal #2 - Keep working on my marriage.  Relationships are always a work in progress, and you go through some rough times with one another, but vows are spoken for a reason, and you've got to work things through.
Goal #3 - Keep fighting the good fight with my mental illness.  I'm no longer on antidepressants, and I'd like it to stay that way!!
Goal #4 - Stay in better touch with friends and loved ones.  I miss folks so much, but I can fix that by reaching out to the them and talking!
and last, but not least,
Goal #5 - Post in here at least once a week, if not more frequently!!!  Thank you to everyone who reads/follows/comments/creeps/etc.  I love you all!!

Happy New Year to everybody, and STAY SAFE out there!

265!

I decided to step on the scale today, Friday, because I hadn't done it yet this week.  I've been weighing myself on either Sunday evenings or Monday mornings, but I didn't want to face disappointment again, so I didn't weigh myself.  But after working out pretty hard with my trainer two days in a row this week, I decided to weigh myself first thing Friday.  265.2 lbs flashed back at me, and that was with light pjs on!!!!  I've also noticed that I eat smaller portions of stuff and get more full faster.  Looks like my hard work is starting to pay off!  Now that I'm back on the bandwagon, I just need to STAY on it.

I also need to get better about posting here.  New Years Resolution, anyone?

On the PCOS front:  my bloodwork came back completely normal.  So while I have the symptoms of it, the hormone levels don't corroborate it.  WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT?!?!?!  So frustrating to have the symptoms I have and not actually have something wrong with me.  Ugh.  So, I'm going back on the pill and have an appointment to see my doctor in 3 months to see if my period issues improve.  If they haven't gotten much better, he'll refer me to a gynecologist who will likely do an ultrasound of my ovaries to see if there's anything funky going on with them.

Until next time, Merry Christmas to all, and to all a GOOD NIGHT!!!!

*happy dances*

falling off the bandwagon

I totally fell off the bandwagon last week.  The only times I worked out were the times I was with my trainer, and I completely pigged out several times on food that really wasn't any good for me.  The scale completely backed up how STUPID this move was, by blinking 273... 273... 273 at me yesterday morning.

Ugh.

I need to retrain my stomach back into an acceptable size, so I'm not hungry all the time.  I need to find healthy foods to eat that will keep me full for more than 2 hours.  I need to find the gumption to go to the gym even on days when I'm not expected to be there.  I need to stop being so lazy.

It would help if I didn't feel tired so much.  I know that working out will help with my sleep habits, and will lead to me feeling more energized, but I'm feeling terribly sapped here at the beginning of my workout regimen.  I don't want to rely on caffeine to get me through the day, but I might have to for the next few weeks, until I get in a set schedule.

I also fell off the bandwagon when it came to posting here regularly...  My apologies!  I'll do better!

First real training session

Whew.  I don't think I've gotten a workout like that since high school!  My personal trainer, Kristin, is absolutely awesome.  She's super encouraging, and is a natural educator, so she can very easily explain what I need to be doing, but can also pick out any mistakes I'm making and quickly fix them.

Today, I warmed-up with 10 minutes or intervals on the elliptical, and then she had me work my upper body with some free weights.  I'll freely admit that we used the smallest weights the gym has, 4 and 5 lbs. dumbbells!  We also did some more squats and lunges, and did several exercises to work on my core.  I'll be lucky if I can move tomorrow.

Those of you who work out/lift weights on a regular basis, what's your recovery routine, so I can better avoid the lactic acid buildup that's killing my quadriceps right now, and will likely be in my arms tomorrow?

Dr. Appointment

Saw my doctor (Primary Care Physician).  Based on my symptoms, he’s pretty much agreeing with the endocrinologist family friend and saying it’s likely I do have PCOS.  I’m going back to the office tomorrow morning for some fasting blood work.  He said the best treatment for it is to lose weight, which is why I was at his office in the first place, so he was glad I was interested in starting a weight loss program.

He’s referred me to a nutritionist, but insurance usually only covers visits if you’ve got an existing condition like diabetes that requires a nutritionist’s advice.  Since I’m not even near pre-diabetic, looks like I might be paying for this one out of pocket… But that’s what flexible spending accounts are for!!!!

He also said that he likes to have his patients try losing weight on their own for at least 2-3 months before he starts prescribing medication, so if I’m not losing weight after that much time, there’s the possibility that he’ll prescribe me something that both impedes appetite and boosts metabolism.  Let’s all hope that it doesn’t come to that, mmkay?

I go back in a month to see how much progress I’ve made.  Let’s hope that I just keep progressing!  Tonight, I’ll write a post about how my session with Kristin, my personal trainer goes.  Considering my legs are still pretty much killing me, it ought to be an interesting trip to the gym!  I might even have to suck it up and take the elevator to get back and forth from the locker room.  L

268!!

I'm already losing weight!  YAY!!!!  I've been working out at least every other day, and trying very hard to both cut back on my portion sizes, and to eat healthier foods.  I had my fitness assessment with a personal trainer on Monday, and pretty much the only thing I excelled at were the v-sit and reach, which measures flexibility, and squats, which measure lower body strength.  I did 20.  And boy do my legs hurt now!  I'm actually almost falling over at some points in time.

Considering I've got a meeting with my trainer again this afternoon, my leg pain ought to make for an interesting session!!!

I'm getting ready to go see my primary care physician.  I'm going to talk to him about my weight loss goals, and the possibility of PCOS (see TMI entry for more on that).  I'll let you guys know what he said when I get back this afternoon!

What is this, day four?

Time flies when you're having fun!  And I'm being only slightly sarcastic there.  A short entry, since I had the longer one just previously.

I've been eating better (eating less of everything, but also added more veggies into my diet).  I'd say I've stayed under 1600 calories each day this week.  I've also gone to the gym three out of four days so far.  The one day I didn't go, I was working up a sweat being little miss domestic housewife.

Next week, I've got my first meeting with a personal trainer at the gym, an appointment with my psychiatrist, and an appointment with my Primary Care Physician.  He and I are going to talk about my weight loss goals, his suggestions for me, and the possibility of my having PCOS (which I wrote about in GREAT detail in my TMI post).  The gym is closed this weekend for a swim meet, but I'll be checking out the little fitness center here at our apartment complex, and I've also got the makings of my own stationary bike, so I've got my bases covered.

I hope everyone's had a great week!  I'm off to bed, because I'm tired.  :-)

Meds Explanation, as promised

In my last entry, I said I'd write an entry to elucidate a bit more on my medications and the reasons behind why I take them.  I could give you the very abbreviated version of this post, but I've found that writing about things is very therapeutic, so I want to take a post and touch on the whole mess.

When I was 12, my brother, Trevor, committed suicide.  When my family thinks back, we realize that he suffered from undiagnosed bipolar disorder.  This threw me into a tailspin, and I spent the next five years or so trying different medications and being hospitalized for suicide attempts of my own.  After 2002, I thought I was over the whole being suicidal thing.  Fast forward to college.  I found a pretty good combination of medication that kept my mood stable and kept me from being depressed.  Fast forward to April 2011.

I was so stressed about my job that the thought of going back to work made me seriously suicidal.  Mind you, this was less than a month after the happiest day of my life, the day I married my husband.  I spent 10 days in the hospital, and when I got out, I quit my job and was taking Zoloft, Abilify, and Lamictal.

I'm now in a much better place, and am only taking the two mood stabilizers, not the antidepressant.  I'm prone to what's called hypo-mania, where I don't go on a complete bender when I'm in a manic state, but I do have racing thoughts and the occasional burst of wanting to stay up for 20 hours out of the day.  I haven't had one of those in a while, though.

I don't mind being very frank about my battles with mental illness.  If you've got questions about it, please feel free to ask!  Nothing is off-limits!