I actually cried when I stepped on the scale today. I haven't weighed less than 250 in over 4 years. The nurse with me was very kind and gave me both a hug and a high five. BB&T has a health insurance premium reduction program called Life-Force. Since I made (and exceeded!) my goals that were set back in January, I've been moved to Phase 2, which means instead of paying $40 a month for my health insurance, I'll now be paying $11. And if I keep making progress, in Phase 3, they're going to actually pay ME!!!
Life changes. Heh. (That was a nervous laugh, by the way...) Some of my readers know what's been going on in my life since early January that's kept me from posting on here.
In January, I decided that I was unhappy in my marriage and had been for quite some time. The more time I've had to think about it, the more I recognize that I covered up my own unhappiness in order to make others happy. There were a lot of red flags and things that I just let slide because neither myself or my husband wanted to experience any confrontation. There were a lot of things that were wrong, most of which are too private to write about here. I'm terribly sorry that I hurt Keith, but I was hurting myself by staying with him.
Due to Virginia's laws, in order to obtain a no-fault divorce, you have to be separated for 6 months before you can even FILE for divorce. So, I'm waiting until July 5th, and then I'm going to the courthouse in Manassas and getting the ball rolling. I'm learning what it takes that makes ME happy, and I'm working on being around people who make me feel that way, and doing things that benefit ME more than benefitting others.
I've floundered a WHOLE lot. Done things I'm not proud of. Fallen away from my faith. Almost completely stopped going to the gym. Things are finally stabilizing, thanks to the support of some special people, both new to my life and my lifelong champions like my parents and Grammy.
This has been quite the journey of self-discovery. I know I've got a ways to go, but I've got a much clearer idea of what I NEED in a relationship and in my life in general. Not necessarily what I want... But certainly what I NEED.
And one of the things I NEED is to post in here again. Much more frequently. No more falling off the face of the earth for this girl! Forgive me for taking the time off to get my crap figured out. Please follow me again, and leave comments! As I said in an earlier post, I am an attention-whore. :-)
