In my last entry, I said I'd write an entry to elucidate a bit more on my medications and the reasons behind why I take them. I could give you the very abbreviated version of this post, but I've found that writing about things is very therapeutic, so I want to take a post and touch on the whole mess.
When I was 12, my brother, Trevor, committed suicide. When my family thinks back, we realize that he suffered from undiagnosed bipolar disorder. This threw me into a tailspin, and I spent the next five years or so trying different medications and being hospitalized for suicide attempts of my own. After 2002, I thought I was over the whole being suicidal thing. Fast forward to college. I found a pretty good combination of medication that kept my mood stable and kept me from being depressed. Fast forward to April 2011.
I was so stressed about my job that the thought of going back to work made me seriously suicidal. Mind you, this was less than a month after the happiest day of my life, the day I married my husband. I spent 10 days in the hospital, and when I got out, I quit my job and was taking Zoloft, Abilify, and Lamictal.
I'm now in a much better place, and am only taking the two mood stabilizers, not the antidepressant. I'm prone to what's called hypo-mania, where I don't go on a complete bender when I'm in a manic state, but I do have racing thoughts and the occasional burst of wanting to stay up for 20 hours out of the day. I haven't had one of those in a while, though.
I don't mind being very frank about my battles with mental illness. If you've got questions about it, please feel free to ask! Nothing is off-limits!
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